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| At times it can be oh so tempting to hug those 'darlings' just a little too tight. |
Reflecting on my work, I felt like I was doing well, learning fast and aware of what I needed to develop. However, when I thought about facing another class, having another day of demands placed on me and the inevitable behaviour management required, I just wanted to cry.
Naturally, I hopped online to search for stress relief strategies. I know my teaching practice is developing well enough, so I figured I just needed some help in keeping my inner peace while growing. However, everything I found was general stuff I have heard before, or specifically designed for full-time teachers. For me to make the best of my time and find some peace, advice on displays and coordinating with parents didn't help a whole lot. In fact, it was almost all irrelevant. So, I approached a fabulous relief teaching community on facebook for advice, prayed, and developed my personalised stress management plan.
Step one - identifying causes of stress:
- As an early childhood teacher, students are not as independent as older grades, requiring constant supervision and help. It is not rare for at least five students to be asking for me (to go to the toilet, spell something, find out what to do, have help getting started) as well as at least one student who needs my attention due to their behaviour. Such intensity keeps me on my toes, but exhausts me both physically and emotionally, in the immediate and later on.
- By the end of two days, my body is exhausted. I dread those full weeks which leave me unable to enjoy my weekend due to pain and/or sickness. At time, two days on my feet is enough to make it painful to walk from the bed to the bathroom the next morning.
- Arriving home, it is difficult to leave work at work, even with no further planning or marking to do. As a perfectionist, I can't help but dwell on what I did, what the students did, how the day could have gone smoother, etc. This sometimes results in better solutions for the future, improving my practice, but some days it simply robs me of my peace and makes it impossible to relax.
- As well as being a teacher, I am a wife and a writer. This means, when I get home, I need to think about food, shopping, cleaning, blogging, researching, and pumping out the minimum pages required to complete my novel. Then of course there is this thing I have heard of called a social life, as well as exercise and taking care of oneself. It is a lot to balance, especially when half of it is still new.
- Work is uncertain, so my income is uncertain. Thankfully I have a husband who earns a regular wage. However, we are still setting up and both of us desperately crave a keyboard since I had to sell my old one. So while we could scrape by without my earnings, it is still incredibly helpful and I can't help but feel the pressure to earn a decent income. This is hard to guarantee when schools often don't call until the morning they would like you to work.
Step two - identify specific actions which can relieve each cause of stress:
- Continue to reflect on, research, and improve behaviour management plan and find ways to reduce constant demands for my attention.
- For spelling, I tell students that I will not help, they can take their best guess using strategies we discuss, ask a friend, or look for the word in their environment. If they still get it wrong, I don't mind because it means they are making an effort, taking risks, and learning.
- For the toilet, before allowing students into class, I check they have gone if they need to, and then have a name system, where they write their name on the board when they leave and rub it out when they are back, so I know where they are. If a student's name is already on the board, other students must wait until they come back.
- For students who can read, I may write up activities they can do when finished. Otherwise, if a small group finishes at roughly the same time, I put one or two students in charge of an activity.
- For some jobs, even young students can be placed in charge. I had a revelation during the holidays that it is perfectly okay, to take a step back and allow a student or two to even run the class! This means I can help students one-on-one or mark writing up the back while a student leads a game of spelling bingo, or something else the class is familiar with. This is particularly useful in those odd left-over minutes when the class has actually managed to finish and pack up a bit early and has time for a game. Even better, this job can be given to a 'bossy' or 'naughty' student to give them a responsibility, allow you to keep an eye on them and the activity at the same time and maybe the other students will see that student in a new light. As an extra bonus, if the whole class is engaged, allowing me to mark, I can have a few more minutes to finish my food during lunch time!
- Some misbehaviour does not need addressing immediately. This was a tip from my fabulous facebook community. Sometimes, if the problem is inattention during mat time, it can be as simple as saying, "Student X, please think about your behaviour." If the behaviour continues, or begins to distract other students, it can be addressed by saying, "Student X is not making the right decision. So we will focus on our learning and I will talk to them later." Talk to them later? That's actually possible! Some behaviour is not dangerous and only compromises one student's learning, so the class can continue in their learning, and when they have moved onto an independent activity, then I can address the issue with the student quietly.
- This term, I have begun a new routine coming home that seems to have helped a lot. Lately, I don't play the radio or any music in the car, and simply reflect on the day, cry if need be, or problem solve. Then, as soon as I come in the door, I let my hair down, take out my earrings, remove my shoes, change into comfy clothes, gather some food and collapse on the couch to do something that will relax and distract me. No work clothes, no work papers, no work thinking. The day is done. If I need extra time to reflect, it will often happen later when I am calm and refreshed.
- My final causes of stress have all been managed with one last, extreme discussion. I actually cried talking to my husband about it, expected resistance and was blessed with amazing support. I am no longer working five days a week. I am available five days a week, but I shall turn down work if I have had two hectic days in a row or am feeling knocked out. We have actually agreed that three to four days of work is perfectly okay sometimes. There will be a time when this is not all so new and overwhelming, the book is finished, my muscles and immune system have built up and my husbands work has also calmed down so he can help around the house a little more. When that time comes, I will be more able to work a full week and will be able to build up to a contract or permanent full-time position. Until then, we shall get by fine and I shall take care of myself and my other commitments. I have to remind myself that being unable to work full time does not make me weak, incompetent or less qualified than 'everyone else'. This simply means I have a full life that requires some balance. As for the money concerns, we will be okay. We are incredibly blessed that my husband has reliable work that will support us, so anything I get is simply a comfort or safety net. With this attitude, I can turn down a single day's work, without apology, also knowing by now that I have some relationship with these schools and they will continue to book me.
Step three - Find a few general stress relief strategies for those moments that can't be avoided:
- Grab a treat, whether it's a chocolate, a massage, or one day of refusing to do housework. Rewards, bribery and distraction are a great way of recovering after a particularly rough day or week.
- Take a breath. There may be times when a mistake is made and the class is a rowdy one, so chaos reigns. If it's just off-task noise and not dangerous behaviour, take a step back, turn around, and breathe before returning to the situation.
- Remember why you do this, and if you couldn't care about the potential you are trying to unlock or the love you have for kids, count the dollars you are earning, remember what it will pay for, then even tell the kids. It's good for them to realise sometimes that you care, you are trying to help, but if they don't care, you still get paid and they lose out on what you are offering.
- Play some music or do some exercise. Doing this as a class at times can help the students too. Release those negative hormones, work up some positive hormones, lose yourself in the moment and relax.
- Redefine the stresses as challenges or goals and determine to make the experience a positive learning experience rather than something that happened separately to you.
Here are a few websites with some extra advice on stress management:
- Dealing with Stress - Stress Management Society
- 10 Ways to Reduce a Teacher's Classroom Stress - Worksheet Library
- 101 Ways to Cope with Teaching Stress - Smart Teaching
What do you do to reduce stress during difficult times?
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