07 August, 2014

Threatening Thursday - Power struggles, threats, or communicating care?

A quick recount for reflection...

     "And last table, come and line up at the door, thank you."

     Then I notice that one student still sitting in his or her chair.

     "Why aren't you lining up?"

     "I don't want to go."

I'm not sure how many times I have had this situation since starting teaching. When I first experienced this, it quickly became a power struggle and the student would usually give in once I threatened a serious enough punishment. Recently I have discovered what seems to just about be a magic phrase.

     "I think it would still be best if you came with us. If you stay in here, I will not be able to see you and make sure that you are safe."

Following this statement, I have found that most of the time the child will join the class. I am unsure at this point if it is a result of a student's fear, a need to be cared for, or a combination, but the idea that I am looking out for their safety is important to them and requires no explanation.

There was case this did not occur immediately, the circumstances were unusual. The child had struggled for two days to follow my instructions, struggling with the changes that come with a relief teacher. In this circumstance, we were right next to the classroom, where I could see the classroom door and hear the student, so I left them with the door open and a responsible student helping them do some work. Next thing I know, both the students joined the class. Why? They didn't feel safe in the class alone, even with us so close.

This phrase has significantly lowered, if not erased, my need to threaten, growl, or enter a power struggle over this issue. It makes me curious what other 'magic phrases' exist that can motivate students to behave appropriately, while also portraying our care for our students rather than our power over them.

Have you discovered any such phrases that work for you?